I can’t find the time or energy to finish that last post and Met Gala is so old news now.
The guy I’ve been seeing for a month gives me nausea. I make decent effort to respond to his texts but whenever he asks to see me, I LITERALLY FEEL SO SICK. I want to upchuck about it. I give clear signs I’m not really interested anymore but its that point where I might actually have to say the words. It kills me because I know he genuinely likes me, wants to do couple-y things, and he’s so kind. Omg, I feel light-headed and my chest feels heavy. Am I too dramatic? Why does he even like me? I’m trying to pretend if he were interested in someone else, would I be jealous? The answer is no. I’m confident about that. I wish he could find another prospect – that would make me feel a lot better. He wants to see me this weekend and I told him maybe. It makes me wanna hide from everyone. I am so immature. All I have to do is say no. If he asks why then I should be mature enough to tell him I’m… not interested? I hate how superficial I am. It truly is a height issue. He’s attractive, we have a lot of the same thoughts/opinions, we get along. We’re practically the same height and that means I can’t wear heels lol. I see couples where the female is taller and they make it work but I simply can’t. I don’t wanna feel like the man in the relationship. I don’t want to waste his time.
I’ve decided to tell him today. Maybe after work. I feel like I adopted a puppy and I just decided to put it outside. Lol.
I’ve calmed down and I drafted a text. Will actually send when I have my peers finish reviewing. I believe in the past, when I would kibosh someone, it was easy when I didn’t respect them or really disliked them. I would be more straightforward. This is hard.
OKAY. I sent about 30m ago and he finally responded. He’s confused but respecting my decision. Awfully mature and I’m so thankful he isn’t asking why. Lol, should I be offended? Ok, I’ll stop.