New Guy

He seems to really like me and it makes me so heavy with guilt.  I wasn’t thinking this would escalate to anything.  I’m not ready for anything serious and I hope his interest in me dies down.  I wanna barf about it.  I can’t complain about anything, there’s nothing wrong with him.  I just wished he never expressed how much he likes me.  I seriously can’t breathe.  He will be gone for a week, celebrating his birthday in Hawaii, and he wants to see me again when he’s back.  Ughhhh.  That’s all he talked about towards the end of our last meet.  I think he kind of gets the idea I’m hesitant about dates because my facial expressions are very …exaggerated lol.  Ooh, I’m gonna suggest North Italia and maybe that Deadpool movie.  Except, when I think of the possibilities of romance and couple-y stuff… it literally makes me sick.

Side Note:
Whenever I’ve come into work after the fat white bitch, I ALWAYS make the effort to say hello.  Never in a way that is too forced, always as genuine as possible.  Today, she came in after me and said NOTHING.  Rude.  I get saying hello every morning gets tiring or annoying but she shows zero signs of liking me.  Whatever.  She’s not worth it.

Since I’ve been single, a lot of the same guys have been bothering me and it’s reminding me I need new people in my life.  Perhaps a good purge/blocking from social media.  Some of these guys have too much to say about my last relationship as if they were part of it.  They want to judge ME for the way I pick mates, obviously upset that I didn’t pick them and trying to make me feel like I missed out on something.  (I definitely did not miss out.)  They want to judge my last boyfriend when they don’t know anything about him.  It’s just flat out rude and pathetic.  I didn’t pick you, get over it.  Don’t be mean and talk shit.  It’s so unattractive… to take MY relationship, break it down, trying to make it seem worthless.  If that’s how they react to my break-up, they have a terrible way of dealing with rejection and saying whatever they can to make themselves sane.  This makes me hate “men” that don’t act like men.

Back to new guy.  He honestly is so sweet.  I don’t think he has any selfish/secretly bad intentions.  His accent is very cute.  Endearing now but I’m afraid it’ll be one of those things that turn into something extremely annoying.  I want to be open-minded and give people honest chances.  If he impresses me next time I see him then I might be more open to idea of doing couple shit.  He already wants to see me every weekend and asked me to stay with him over each weekend.  (How stupid sounding was that sentence?)  It gives me goosebumps just thinking about the idea.  I just got out of something like that, why would I get myself back into that with someone else?  Hell no.

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