The boss asked about my boyfriend and I got fed up with lying. I thought… maybe I’m wrong about him, he’s not trying to do anything. I said “we’re not together anymore, it’s been a month now” and he didn’t even pretend to be sad for me. IMMEDIATELY asked me to accompany him to events. WTF. No fucking way. I had to act really busy while he was talking to me, I only retained like 33% of what he was saying because I was getting nauseous. He finished talking and I said “Oh.” then he was like “whatever, there’s young single guys there too. All they do is drink and party…” and I was like “love young drinkers”. Lol who says that?! I just wanted to say anything that did not relate to him so he could get the picture. I don’t know how to explain how uncomfortable it is – to be in this work environment where it’s mostly males and they consistently do inappropriate things. It’s not only him, other guys at work bother me in other ways.
I can see why some females keep this shit to themselves. It’s embarrassing. Most people will think “she probably dresses a certain way…” or any ridiculous reason to justify why a woman would get sexually harassed. If you see the way I dress to work, the way I do my face and hair – it’s all zero effort. Some days, I put in some effort to look professional because we will have meetings and unexpected prospects walk-in. So I understand I have to look decent. I am no way trying to attract ANYONE.
Anyway, this just happened and writing about it is a way for me to cool down. I can’t even work right now because I’m so disgusted. There is another female that works near me. She gets no attention and it’s really weird. I think she hates me, I feel hate vibes radiating from her at times. She’s kinda overweight, white, older. She has a good face and kind personality. I remember trying to talk to her but she kept conversations really short – which I don’t mind. I wasn’t trying to make her a new friend lol. I just thought as a girl gang… the sexual harassment could die down. She doesn’t deal with what I do so I think she’s more like “this is your fucking battle”.
I was having a really good day until 15min ago. Combination of sadness, feeling unprotected, and maybe overthinking a lot of things. FOR THE RECORD: I don’t smile, I don’t ask questions, I don’t make eye contact, I don’t do anything extra, I do everything to avoid attention. Anyone who really knows me, knows this. People at work don’t know anything about my life outside work or who I really am. I make jokes, I’m immature, and I’m a lot of unprofessional/unlikable things – never at work. So before someone calls me out on the way I post certain things on social media… no one at work follows me. That’s a fact.