I WAS RIGHT

The boss asked about my boyfriend and I got fed up with lying.  I thought… maybe I’m wrong about him, he’s not trying to do anything.  I said “we’re not together anymore, it’s been a month now” and he didn’t even pretend to be sad for me.  IMMEDIATELY asked me to accompany him to events.  WTF.  No fucking way.  I had to act really busy while he was talking to me, I only retained like 33% of what he was saying because I was getting nauseous.  He finished talking and I said “Oh.” then he was like “whatever, there’s young single guys there too.  All they do is drink and party…” and I was like “love young drinkers”.  Lol who says that?!  I just wanted to say anything that did not relate to him so he could get the picture.  I don’t know how to explain how uncomfortable it is – to be in this work environment where it’s mostly males and they consistently do inappropriate things.  It’s not only him, other guys at work bother me in other ways.

I can see why some females keep this shit to themselves.  It’s embarrassing.  Most people will think “she probably dresses a certain way…” or any ridiculous reason to justify why a woman would get sexually harassed.  If you see the way I dress to work, the way I do my face and hair – it’s all zero effort.  Some days, I put in some effort to look professional because we will have meetings and unexpected prospects walk-in.  So I understand I have to look decent.  I am no way trying to attract ANYONE.

Anyway, this just happened and writing about it is a way for me to cool down.  I can’t even work right now because I’m so disgusted.  There is another female that works near me.  She gets no attention and it’s really weird.  I think she hates me, I feel hate vibes radiating from her at times.  She’s kinda overweight, white, older.  She has a good face and kind personality.  I remember trying to talk to her but she kept conversations really short – which I don’t mind.  I wasn’t trying to make her a new friend lol.  I just thought as a girl gang… the sexual harassment could die down.  She doesn’t deal with what I do so I think she’s more like “this is your fucking battle”.

I was having a really good day until 15min ago.  Combination of sadness, feeling unprotected, and maybe overthinking a lot of things.  FOR THE RECORD:  I don’t smile, I don’t ask questions, I don’t make eye contact, I don’t do anything extra, I do everything to avoid attention.  Anyone who really knows me, knows this.  People at work don’t know anything about my life outside work or who I really am.  I make jokes, I’m immature, and I’m a lot of unprofessional/unlikable things – never at work.  So before someone calls me out on the way I post certain things on social media… no one at work follows me.  That’s a fact.

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